In a stunning blow to the What's-his-name/Gore administration's climate scare policy, key Senators have introduced legislation to delay Kyoto ratification for at least a decade. Last week Sens. Murky, Big Bird and Chuck dropped their long awaited Let's Study It For Ten Years and Maybe It will Go Away proposal into the hopper. The short title is the Kyoto Who? Act of 1999 or so.
A key feature of the bill is a $200 million a year flush fund for a new Office of Weird Energy (OWE), which is given ten years to come up with something we can sell to the Chinese, so they won't smoke so much. Voluntary industry participation is required. The Director of the Weird Energy Office (WEO) is to "develop and implement a balanced, scientifically sound, non advocacy public awareness program that looks at both adverse and beneficial effects of potential climate change scares."
In addition, the Energy Information Administration is to compile a list of everybody who voluntarily plants anything, to be published annually in the Federal Register. Involuntary plantings are exempt.
Speaking from the Senate floor, Sen. Murky (R-AK), Chairman of the Weird Energy and Natural Resources Committee, proudly proclaimed "We would like to promote U.S. exports of clean weird technologies to nations like China and India, who are belching greenhouse gases and choking on their own belch." and "With the Kyoto approach, we say goodbye to the beautiful budget surplus, goodbye to the faint hope of saving social security, and goodbye to the Miss American Pie in this country today."
Sen. Murky, whose wife, Nancy Gore Murky is no longer related to the Vice President, then yielded to Sen. Chuck (R-NE). Chuck proudly proclaimed "Presently we have accountability and really big bucks for the global climate scare spread throughout the Government. It is in the White House, oh boy is it ever. It is in EPA, you can say that twice. It is in the Glove Compartments of Commerce, Agriculture, State, Interior, and Energy, and Treasury, and the green grass grows all around. But I digress. It is in the Zoo, the Smithsonian and most of all the NSF (Never Sufficient Funds). All of these organizations have their fat tentacles wrapped around this issue. So with this bill we will focus on accountability, responsibility -- in the Office of Weird Energy. Let's get the job done."
Sen. Big Bird (D-WV) followed, cheeping "There is no single answer -- there is no one silver bullet." Pretty well informed sources were unclear just what Big Bird meant. According to really well informed sources, the Green (nee White) House has put a hex on any Democrat who dares to co-sponsor the Murky bill. Except Sen. Big Bird, who is protected by the aura of 100,000 starving coal miners.
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